101 things to do at WalMart
by rosalieitalia
Summary: If you have ever read 101 things to do at walmart then you probably have a good idea what this is. If you havn't then read it now and come back to this. Some of these are a all human and some include vampires.
1. Introduction

Hi guys.

So this is my first ever fan fiction so I thought I would start with something simple and easy that is already mapped out and has a base so it makes life less difficult for me.

As you have probably already guessed this is based on the awesome collection of quotes entitled "101 things to do at Wal-Mart". Ironically I came across this list while reading another fic that had truth or dare in it. Let's just say I worked out that the possibilities are endless.

I couldn't decide weather to do this all human or with vampires so I am going to do a mixture and I will leave a note at the top telling you who is human and who is . . . not.

I will have a different chapter for every different escapade and I will try to update quite regularly. At least one chapter every three days.

I have a very dry sense of humor so if you don't then this might not work for you, but then again it might so I don't know.

I know y'all hate long author's notes so I will make any that I leave super short and to the point. Hope you enjoy and please R&R.


	2. Stranded shopping carts and young moms!

**A/N**

**All Human**

**BPOV**

"Do you ever feel sorry for all those girls that get pregnant really young and have to give up their whole lives to look after a kid?" I asked looking at a girl that couldn't be any older than sixteen pushing a pushchair around and trying to force a pacifier into her toddler's mouth.

"No" replied Jasper and he didn't look like he was going to elaborate so Rose probed him a little more.

"Why?" she asked. "Here we are walking down the street enjoying our lives and she has to look after a kid and support them and herself and carry all the burdens of an adult at sixteen!"  
"We know all that but if she hadn't gone out to some house party and gotten drunk, and gotten screwed and not even taken enough care to use protection then she would not have to go through all of that!" defended Edward.

All this time Emmett had been very quiet and had a brooding look on his face. When it comes to Emmett that is never a good sign. Last time he had that look he had been wondering if it would be possible for him to fit into Alice's clothes. He had tried the experiment one night when Alice was doing unmentionable acts with Jasper and he had torn one of her designer shirts. Needless to say we were all in doubt that he would ever be able to father children for a good few months after the incident thanks to Alice and her Mark Jacobs stilettos.

"Emmett I swear to god if your thoughts are anywhere near my clothes Little Emmett will end up so brutally mutilated even Rose won't be able to stand the sight of him and fatherhood will be so far out of the question that it will be on Pluto." Alice said in a quiet but deadly voice that had us all in no doubt that every word was true.

"Put the claws away Kitty, your precious clothes are safe." Emmett sounded calm but I swear to God I saw his hands sweating a bit before he shoved them in his pockets. "No, I was thinking that there is a way we can help all those young girls out there that still have there lives intact and no kids on the way."

"Oh really? Explain" Rose said dryly.

"Come hither! To Wal-Mart and beyond!" he shouted in a Buzz Light-year impression, earning a few stares from passing strangers.

20 minutes later we were all laughing hysterically and running out of the automatic doors.

The reason for our laughter?

The shopping cart filled with packets of condoms that had been abandoned in the baby supplies isle with a huge sign tacked to it saying "YOUNG MOTHERS: WE GOOD SAMARITANS PROVIDE THESE GIFTS IN THE HOPE THAT YOU WILL TAKE SOME AND REMEMBER ONE NEXT TIME YOU GO TO A PARTY AND GET DRUNK!"

**Please PM me or review if you anything good to say or any constructive criticism to give. **


	3. Sorry

I am sorry but until further notice I will not be posting anymore on this story. I have had a sudden moment of inspiration for another story and want tp devote my full attention to it so that it is as good as it can possibly be.

Check it out when I start to post.

Sorry again.

Love You All

Rosalie Italia


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